I'm back - sparkle and all
Yesterday I was at an event and I ran into a journalist I had known for 15 years. I had last seen him in 2008, but like a lot of people, we kept track of each other by following each other on social media. We chatted a bit and he said it was so good to see the sparkle back in my eyes again. He had seen me at my best and had also watched me retreat over the last several years.
It's taken 6 years for me to put myself back in the public eye again and it's been a long journey. One of the overwhelming things a person feels when they have been bullied and defamed online is fear that someone has read about them and believes the lies that have been published.
When false information is posted online or emailed to hundreds of people - repeatedly - there is no way for a person to refute the information or defend themselves. Many people who have experienced this kind of bullying, simply retreat and hide and hope that it will end or just go away - as I did. Our fear is that anything posted on the World Wide Web will be read by someone we have just met, our employer, our family, our friends old and new - who might think, "wow , I thought I knew them and I didn't think they were like that". The 'web' is available to all with internet access. So we assume the worst and think that the whole world reads the false information.
And then there is Google.
There was a time recently when you googled my name and you could find hundreds of posts about the poor state of my mental health and all the wrongs I had allegedly committed. Until recently, when people read something online - they though it must be true. Surely it would be illegal to put something online that was fabricated!
To recount what happened to me (and a few other women), might take several hours. As a book it might be a very interesting study in human behaviour. When you hear it - you may think "who is this person and why in the world would they do such a thing to another person?"
As humans - we are very judgemental - and rightly so. It has ensured our survival. We subconsciously and consciously judge situations every day and make decisions based on our prior experiences that keep us safe.
In social situations however, that are generally safe, we do the same thing. We judge a person by their actions - only aware of what we see and not why the person has behaved the way they have.
And this is how we "know" people. At sixty-two years old, I have encountered and interacted with hundreds of people who would say that they know me. Each of them might have a story about something we did together or some reason that they knew me. We are judged. And we know it - because we do the same to others.
Which brings me to the question - who am I? Am I simply my last best deed or or my last worst deed?
I am a woman, a mother, a quilter, a swimmer, a recreational cyclist, a cook, a baker, and to many, a friend. I have been a wife, a runner, a lifeguard, a farmer, a manager, a police officer, a qualified ski instructor, a business owner, a speaker, a writer, a firefighter, emergency management professional and have had a varied life and career- mostly in service to others. And I won't apologize for wanting to do different things in my life. I am interested in many different things.
That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone who has held one job or worked at one thing all their lives. I know many people like this and I admire them for not being distracted by other interests.
So who am I? Hopefully when you meet me - we can strike up a conversation and get to know a little about each other. Just like you I am complicated and certainly not simply my last 'best' or 'worst' act.
Why this web site? For me it is my way to set the record straight about who I am, what I know and what happened to me. So that when you google my name - you can read the truth about me. Hopefully you will see that I am not the terrible person the bully behind a keyboard insists that I am. A judge has ruled what he has said is untrue. She has also said that what he has done to me is malicioius, high handed and shocks the conscience of the court.
The damage unseen by others is the $250,000 legal bill that I continue to pay off. As of April 30th 2025, I have received some of the monies owed to me from the seizure and sale of Bob Lepps house which was divided up with some going to other creditors that received awards after my award. Now is the ttime to heal. As I am sure you can imagine, the emotional and physical impact on myself and my family cannot be quantified.
It's taken 6 years for me to put myself back in the public eye again and it's been a long journey. One of the overwhelming things a person feels when they have been bullied and defamed online is fear that someone has read about them and believes the lies that have been published.
When false information is posted online or emailed to hundreds of people - repeatedly - there is no way for a person to refute the information or defend themselves. Many people who have experienced this kind of bullying, simply retreat and hide and hope that it will end or just go away - as I did. Our fear is that anything posted on the World Wide Web will be read by someone we have just met, our employer, our family, our friends old and new - who might think, "wow , I thought I knew them and I didn't think they were like that". The 'web' is available to all with internet access. So we assume the worst and think that the whole world reads the false information.
And then there is Google.
There was a time recently when you googled my name and you could find hundreds of posts about the poor state of my mental health and all the wrongs I had allegedly committed. Until recently, when people read something online - they though it must be true. Surely it would be illegal to put something online that was fabricated!
To recount what happened to me (and a few other women), might take several hours. As a book it might be a very interesting study in human behaviour. When you hear it - you may think "who is this person and why in the world would they do such a thing to another person?"
As humans - we are very judgemental - and rightly so. It has ensured our survival. We subconsciously and consciously judge situations every day and make decisions based on our prior experiences that keep us safe.
In social situations however, that are generally safe, we do the same thing. We judge a person by their actions - only aware of what we see and not why the person has behaved the way they have.
And this is how we "know" people. At sixty-two years old, I have encountered and interacted with hundreds of people who would say that they know me. Each of them might have a story about something we did together or some reason that they knew me. We are judged. And we know it - because we do the same to others.
Which brings me to the question - who am I? Am I simply my last best deed or or my last worst deed?
I am a woman, a mother, a quilter, a swimmer, a recreational cyclist, a cook, a baker, and to many, a friend. I have been a wife, a runner, a lifeguard, a farmer, a manager, a police officer, a qualified ski instructor, a business owner, a speaker, a writer, a firefighter, emergency management professional and have had a varied life and career- mostly in service to others. And I won't apologize for wanting to do different things in my life. I am interested in many different things.
That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone who has held one job or worked at one thing all their lives. I know many people like this and I admire them for not being distracted by other interests.
So who am I? Hopefully when you meet me - we can strike up a conversation and get to know a little about each other. Just like you I am complicated and certainly not simply my last 'best' or 'worst' act.
Why this web site? For me it is my way to set the record straight about who I am, what I know and what happened to me. So that when you google my name - you can read the truth about me. Hopefully you will see that I am not the terrible person the bully behind a keyboard insists that I am. A judge has ruled what he has said is untrue. She has also said that what he has done to me is malicioius, high handed and shocks the conscience of the court.
The damage unseen by others is the $250,000 legal bill that I continue to pay off. As of April 30th 2025, I have received some of the monies owed to me from the seizure and sale of Bob Lepps house which was divided up with some going to other creditors that received awards after my award. Now is the ttime to heal. As I am sure you can imagine, the emotional and physical impact on myself and my family cannot be quantified.