So really - whats the big deal?

"You won your case - so move on."

Yes.  I won the defamation case.  But the fact remains - I am forever changed, wounded and sad for myself and anyone else who has experienced this kind of abusive verbal and emotional violence.

Anyone who knows me - knows that I am a strong and determined woman. For almost six years, I was defamed over and over and over online.  All because one person did not like how I did my job, nor did he like that I did not back down and refused to answer a personal question that I felt he had no right to know. And so he began trolling me - looking into my past and rewriting it to suit his narrative.  He even found one of my daughters and mocked her for winning a criminal court case - where she put a rapist in jail. 

Defamation is really a whitewashed word for what happened to me.  There is no emotion attached to the word.  Neither does the word defamation encompass the harassment, the verbal violence, and the intrusion into my personal life that for me - drove me into silence and hiding.  

When someone starts a smear campaign against you - online - it can be almost impossible to fight back.  There is no way to know how many people have been sent messages that portray you as a liar, a cheater, a psychotic depressive, a child bride, someone who cuckolded their spouse, someone who drinks and drives and someone who is not qualified to work at the job where they are employed.

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And when that campaign includes multiple emails to over 800 businesses, your boss, your colleagues, your staff, your former business associates, your organization's Board of Directors - or in my case Councillors and the Mayor - it makes it impossible to look at people and not wonder if they have received the communications and if they believe it.  Worse still - when it is perpetuated online in hundreds of posts - over and over for five or more years - there is no way to know who has read it - and thought - "where there is smoke there must be fire".

There is no way to fight back until we find a way to stop bullies from posting lies online about us under the guise of "free speech".

When a person sets out to destroy a person through destruction of their reputation so that they lose their employment and financial security through the posting of lies and negative innuendo - it is violence towards that person. And even the strongest person may suffer emotionally.  And when I heard the abuse and lies repeated about me over and over - it took incredible internal fortitud to keep from believing it myself.  That internal fortitude and support and love from people who KNOW who I really am - is what kept me getting out of bed in the morning.

I am ok.  I will heal.  And when it's time - I will help others.

What is Cyberbullying?

The following are short excerpts from Wikipedia that explain cyberbullying.  It is quite an extensive article and these are only two short quotes from the article that can be found here

"Cyberbullying or cyberharassment is a form of bullying or harassment using electronic means. Cyberbullying and cyberharassment are also known as online bullying."

Under the "Adult" section is the following:

"Cyberstalking may be an extension of physical stalking,[10] and may have criminal consequences. A target's understanding of why cyberstalking is happening is helpful to remedy and take protective action. Among factors that motivate stalkers are envy, pathological obsession (professional or sexual), unemployment or failure with own job or life, or the desire to intimidate and cause others to feel inferior. The stalker may be delusional and believe they "know" the target."